If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
