Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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