Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
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Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
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You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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