It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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