this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
