Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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