Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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