lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
