D3 body, D1 cock
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
They took my balls.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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