girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
