i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
