I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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