do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize