NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We smell like vodka and hangover
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