we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
