What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
