Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
