you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
