the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
