why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
