I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She's not a foreskin expert like you
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
