so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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