you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
