His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
