i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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