I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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