Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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