In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
