dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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