I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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