Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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