she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
