come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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