Already got asked if we're dating
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
