Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
