I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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