I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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