Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
