Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
well most of my day revolves around power hour
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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