i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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