hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
