I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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