My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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