Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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