I accidentally had phone sex last night
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just gargled with NyQuil
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize