i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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