Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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