Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
