Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
