i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
