Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize