Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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