she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
