i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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