Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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