I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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