so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize