Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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