I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
