I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Randomize